Look! Up in the sky! It's a bird. It's a plane. It's Superman!

"Yes, it's Superman - strange visitor from another planet who came to Earth with powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal men. Superman - who can change the course of mighty rivers, bend steel with his bare hands, and who, disguised as Clark Kent, mild mannered reporter for a great metropolitan newspaper, fights the never ending battle for Truth, Justice and the American Way."  

Yes, Bob, alias Superman, is alive and going strong.  His medication for his memory is doing remarkable things.  He's almost back to normal.  It's wonderful.  He still has a little short-term memory loss but the big things he seems to remember.  His vision is still an issue but I think it's better also.  At least it seems so.  He's cooking out on the grill, he's helping around the house and trying to do projects.  WOW!!!  Right now, we are blessed - life is good.  In fact, Clark Kent is showing up now and then.  You know, the sweet old Bob (I mean Clark).  The really sweet man, I fell in love with last summer.  But who always thought he was Superman (in disguise of course) and nothing could ever harm him.

Now we still have our moments, where I don't know what he remembers and what he doesn't and he gets irritated with me for "telling him what to do."  But Lois is doing OK, too.  My patience is better than it used to be...I guess it had to get better huh?  

So, I'm reporting good things.  I know life is full of surprises and unforeseen events, so I'm living in the moment.  Superman is living in the moment and right now he is "faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, and able to leap tall buildings in a single bound."  I'm sorry if that reference just goes over some people's heads like a flash but us Baby Boomers know what I mean.

I thank God every day and since I've given it all up to him and I have stopped worrying on a minute to minute basis, things are good.  That's just about all - THINGS ARE GOOD RIGHT NOW!!! 

From the home of Hope & Courage,
Jody

Stand By Your Man

I really do not like that Tammy Wynette song "Stand By Your Man."  I always thought it was absolutely ridiculous for a woman to accept the weakness of "her" man and just stand by and allow him to be an idiot and then forgive him.  I don't know the whole story about that song, but I always thought she was singing about George Jones (the biggest idiot).  Nope not me!  Well, according to the Serenity Prayer, we pray for the ability to accept what we cannot change, courage to change the things we can, and wisdom to know the difference.  I am trying to apply this prayer to my acceptance of Bob and the way he is right now.  I also know that I must change a lot about me, too.

Superman is better.  He's been on a memory medication that is wonderful and I can tell a big difference.  His vision isn't much better but maybe that will come later.  What's different is his memory and his cognitive thinking ability.  He is also beginning to do some projects (small ones) around the house.  The part I'm having trouble with is the smoking.  Since he's so much better, it seems he remembers he's addicted to nicotine - like big time!  He asks me now a couple of times a day to drive him up to the QuickTrip and buy him a pack and I say no.  I have been lecturing him that they will kill him or put him in a vegetative state, etc. etc.  He doesn't care.  He really doesn't care.  So, I think he's killing himself.  His addiction is so strong that it doesn't matter if he lives for me, or for his grandchild or his kids.  It makes me so angry.

Today, I'm working on acceptance because I cannot fight his stubbornness and his determination to be independent in this capacity.  I said it before I won't be his policeman.  Now, I know he can't work and he can't drive.  The two favorite things he did.  So I believe that smoking is something he CAN do and he can have control over.  I pray for the ability to accept this and move on.  I love Bob and I must accept him for what he is doing.  I don't have to like it, and I don't have to buy the cigarettes, but I do have to accept this behavior.  I've only been married for 2 1/2 months and I don't think I can say "it's me or cigarettes" (I'm afraid he'd say the cigs).  Maybe if I'd been married 20 years it would be different.  I met him and fell in love with Superman just as he was - a smoker.  It's just the knowing that now each cigarette brings him closer to a big stroke and I'm scared to death.

I know that the defiance is part of the stroke but it's also part of the man.  A man who has always been independent and has lived hard all his life.  And, face it woman of the world, all men are basically very selfish creatures.  This is a known fact and an indisputable one.  So add selfishness to the package and what have you got?   Superman!!!

Good news is that he is doing so much better that I can take a full time job soon (as soon as I can get one).  That will be good for both of us.  We're talking about getting a dog and I think that would be great for Bob to have a companion while I'm at work.  Let you know!

I pray that I can live the Serenity Prayer.  I pray that God grants it to me and to all the other woman out there who are caregivers in one way or another to their stroke victim husbands.  Amen.

From the home of Hope & Courage,
Jody