Come sail away!

Sailing

Takes me away

To where I always heard it could be

Just a dream and the wind to carry me

And soon I will be free

I loved the song "Sailing" by Christopher Cross.  Remember it?   He painted a picture with his voice and words.  It was so nice to listen while closing your eyes and visualizing the peacefulness.  Life can be like that and then some.  Life can be like sailing on a large sailboat.  First of all, this time last year I would have no way predicted that I could find the love of my life, gotten engaged and then married.  I just let the life's sailboat carry me through the rough waters to the calm waters of last year.  I met my Superman.

Then came some rough seas.  The AS (after Stroke) time warp!  I, of course, would never have predicted that I would be daily helping my soul mate navigate through his life because of a stroke.  You know that's a good word--navigate.  I'm definitely the one trying to steer the boat through this first stage of our marriage.  Don't get me wrong, Bob is better.  If I look back to the day I brought him home from the hospital, he's so very much improved.  That's what I have to do--look back to the beginning to bring myself forward.  That is way I realize improvement.  He is helping me at the helm little by little.  So as I attempt to navigate, with God's help, I notice some strange and wonderful things on our horizon.

I have decided that Superman & Lois have SUPER GRANDCHILDREN!  Of course, we do.  Yesterday, Bob and I spent the evening with my family for the April birthday party.  The celebration consisted of my granddaughter Olivia's birthday, my new grandson, Daniels, first birthday in the USA, even my youngest granddaughter's March (they snuck her in), and my birthday as well.  It was such a lovely get together and Bob and I enjoyed watching the kids do their thing.  Daniel with his Star Wars paraphernalia with Ava helping him while watching a Star Wars movie on TV; Olivia being a beautiful 13 year old observing just from the outside the main circle and Brady catching fly balls with his Dad, my son, Brad.  We enjoyed every minute. 

Last weekend, we spent an evening with Bob's new grandson, Weston, Bob's youngest son, Matt and his wife, Anne.  Bob is so full of joy watching that little baby and every time we see him he changes.  That young family is on our horizon.  Today we will see Bob's other son, Mike and his wife, Dianne.  We'll probably go out to lunch and have a really special afternoon.  This is our future.  This is family.  No matter what lies ahead of our journey, the families will be there; the grandchildren will be there.  Constant ships on the horizon!

The unknown is there though.  Those unknown unrecognized blurry objects that you can't really see out there even when you look through your binoculars!  While standing on the swaying deck, you can't see them; they are obscure.  As I try to steer us through one step at a time, I keep hitting those small iceburgs (in Georgia?) or maybe it's just large waves in Lake Lanier?  As Bob gets better, he also becomes a little more depressed.  It's the realization that he is not working, that he can't handle the finances, that he can't drive; I guess all the can'ts.  I try to remind him that Superman has come a long way baby!  He CAN be left alone for short periods of time.  He CAN remember better than he could before.  He CAN see a little better than he did before.  The CAN's do outshine the can'ts.  Now it's the mental and emotional aspects of Superman that seem to overcome our daily lives.  

Please God, steer us on the right course.  Please make our journey the one you want us to take.  Please give Bob & I patience to endure the crossing.

I have found a fantastic discussion group on the National Stroke Association Facebook page that has opened my eyes and given me such an awareness of other stroke caregivers and victims.  The woman on the Spouse Caregivers discussion group are amazing.  They are a handful of women from around the globe who have put their lives on hold for their spouses.  They care for the loves of their lives and are angels with huge wings!  To participate in this group make me realize that my small issues with Bob's stroke symptoms and behavior are so minimal compared to what these women have gone through and are still going through on a daily basis.  It also give me a place to vent knowing that these women have been where I am and beyond.  God bless them all!

From the home of Hope & Courage,

Jody